The United States of Fear

I knew when I became a mom nearly ten years ago that I’d spend the rest of my life worrying about my children and looking out for their safety. For someone with a generalized anxiety disorder, the world is already a scary place. Add children to the mix and it gets exponentially worse.

I expected to worry about injuries, Stranger Danger, car accidents, and “bad friends.” Behavioral problems at school. Failing grades. Drugs. I even expected to worry about illnesses beyond the typical stomach bugs and flus, but I certainly didn’t expect having to navigate through a pandemic. But even that is easier than worrying about school shootings. At least with the pandemic, I have some control: I can get my family vaccinated. We can wear masks. We can stay away from busy places and large social events.

The one thing I didn’t think I’d have to worry about is my kids’ safety at school. I’m too young to remember Columbine fully, but what I do remember about it is the shock and fear, and the certainty that it could never happen again.

Here we are, 22 years later, and we’ve had countless school shootings. It seems one happens every other week or so. I’ve mourned so many children that are not mine, and grieved with their families. I cannot imagine their pain and the anger they must feel every day.

But I fear someday I might.

People say, “What are the odds of it happening to us?” Statistically, the odds of a child dying in a school shooting are low. Just how low, I can’t seem to get a good grasp on. Different websites cite different statistics, but they all seem to hover around the 1% threshold or less. The odds of being in a school shooting are higher, but it’s still unlikely.

So why are so many parents like myself living in constant fear and worrying ourselves into an early grave?

It could be because the mental health crisis is getting worse.

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