wishful thinking

there is another thing
i wished to tell you
but was hesitant
and actually still am
but anyway
here is my shot
at openness
however awkward
that may seem
but i dont care
you know that right?
so here it is…
i want to love you
deeply
earnestly
perversely
i want to spend my life
with you for
years,
let’s say ten…
ten years
and then another
ten
and then another
and even after death
i wanna spend
the ten
and ten again
those years after

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